Change

Feeling stuck?

I get it. You don't see where your next part is coming from. You have not had an audition or a call back or a job in months. It's hard to stay motivated. And sometimes I do this thing where I search for something 'new', like I'm now going to find the quote or the advise or the new skill that will change how I feel. 

But the truth stays the truth. There is no such thing as an overnight success. I think staying ready to jump up anytime your agent calls, to stay with right mindset, to keep working even when you don't see the payoff - that is the hardest part. 

I've recently let a lot of personal drama distract me from my career. Break ups and many, many nights of too many glasses of wine. Time goes by quickly.

So this is what I've been doing to find my balance again, may it inspire someone in need:

Meditation. 

I know, if you're not already doing it then you've tried it but it didn't do much for you. In that meditation is a great teacher - the benefits are proven but take time and dedication to be felt. It is the most effect way to find peace of mind. Get the app "Headspace" and do it.

Order.

I've decorated my space in my mid 20s and haven't changed it in years, so many parts of my apartment are cluttered and I feel that in order to feel calm and collected on the inside I need the outside to match that. My eyes need peaceful surroundings. 

Learning something.

I've realised that the three values I want to currently cultivate the most are "Focus", " Discipline" and "Patience" and they are all needed to learn playing the piano. I suck at it. I envy everyone who has been forced by their parents to learn it or was eager enough as a child, because it is so hard. But I can see how I'm getting better and I just realised if I simply not give up, I will play the piano. So I made a contract with myself to not give up for the next three years. Pick a skill and find a lovely teacher. Don't rely on being an autodidact - accountability is needed. 

Exercise.

They keep saying "find exercise that you enjoy". That is of course true. I'm for example a passionate runner but it doesn't actually form my body the way I'd like to. So now, I do do those little youtube videos. I try to not think too much about whether I want to do it or not - my gut instinct just wanting to watch another Netflix show is not always the best indicator of what is good for  me so I need to create new ways for my instinct to react.

Therapy.

I know that can get expensive, but same as meditation it just helps. I've done a few different kinds: classic talking, body-mind, singing- therapy and life coaching. Each session has helped me. Try out a few things and see what works best for you. I've never met a single human being who wouldn't benefit from therapy.

Reading.

Pick real literature. I'm just about to finish Anna Karenina. There is a reason why those stories make up our collective narratives and reading them, understanding them will help you. Plus nothing looks sexier than sitting in a cafĂ© and reading Tolstoy. 

Change.

Change something. Your hair, your body, your agent, your boyfriend, your apartment. Sometimes it is just that.


So yes, I'm not yet not fully balanced and some days I still feel confused but I know no day can be lost, if I've spent my time writing, meditating, exercising, reading and practising the piano.

That is all I can control - myself. 

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